exodus

"If you have a heart that cares for your native land, you will find a way to make a difference even if you are far away. And, perhaps, on the other hand, if you do not have a heart, you will not make a difference even if you stay." -- Fr. Bienvenido Nebres, SJ

Long ago, I was determined to be a doctor for the Filipino, in the Philippines. I felt that I had to give back something to society as a doctor, because my pre-med and med proper tuitions were both subsidized by Filipino tax payers. My opinion regarding migrating doctors was not very good, to put it bluntly. I told myself I won't join this exodus.

But, oh, how things have changed. Ask me now what I'll do after getting my license and without missing a beat, I'll tell you that I'm going abroad for residency. A change of plan, but not a change of heart. At least, that's what I tell myself. I'm convinced at this point that I've been bitten by the Practicality Bug, and that's why I'm more inclined than ever to leave the minute I can. I don't think the situation's changed much; the hard life in the Philippines is not any harder than it was years ago. What has changed is how I see things.

While I still feel that need to give something back to the people who paid for my tuition, I now feel an even greater need to give back something for the people who were directly affected by my choice to go into medicine. Namely my family. My parents still could not afford to retire, because although my tuition is cheap, I still have no salary, not even an allowance, and someone had to work so that there'll be money for food, the bills and the expenses of making it through med school. They've given up so much for my dream, and to give them a comfortable life is the least I can do for all their sacrifices for me. With the current health care situation here, how could I afford this? A doctor's salary in the Philippines is hardly enough to cover his living expenses. In addition, the hours I have to spend at the hospital will leave me no time to spend with my family. They won't be seeing much of me (at least much of me awake), so it's almost as if I am not really here anyway. So I figured the best way to help them and myself is to try my luck in a foreign land.

Selfish, you might say. And maybe I'll agree with you. But I can't ignore how selfless these people have been for me. It's high time they get a break, a break long overdue. I'm determined to give this to them, before they become too old to enjoy life. I don't think I'll be able to live with myself serving people I do not know before I take care of those that really matter to me.

In the meantime, I hope my joining the ranks of doctors abandoning the Philippines would serve as a wake up call to the government and move them to action, to make due improvements in the worsening health care situation in the country. I believe in Fr. Nebres' words, not only because it makes my decision easier, but also because of the obvious truth behind it.

Someday I'll come back, this is for sure. Maybe I'll come back fulfilled, or maybe I'll come back feeling ashamed with what I chose to do. But I will come back.

written on 27 Mar 2006