the sabbatical

I know, I've been a sporadic blogger. I almost went too long again without posting (or maybe I did). Much has been happening, and I haven't been able to sit down and compose something I deem worthy of publishing. Much like the journals I tried to keep, this has had close encounters with death. Now, before it dies (again), I'm attempting to make up for the seven months I've been silent. Resuscitate before it totally codes again.

Glad to say though, that my silence is equated with many things happening in my life. I don't have as much free time to "waste" chronicling my thoughts because life is happening. Since I last posted in August, I've been in two cities abroad, have successfully conquered another major test, stepped out of my comfort zone by finally leaving a job that's made me stagnate, and now I may have found myself aboard the train towards my dreams. I hadn't planned for any of it, I sort of got sucked into the plan, which I like to think is God's plan for me.

So...let's start from where I left off. My last post was in August of 2010. A good seven months ago, more than half a year. In September, I left the motherland for the land down under. Together with my sister and other international medical graduates, I attended a bridging course in preparation for the first of 2 licensure exams. It turned out to be a 6-week boot camp, with us reporting in at 8 AM and getting dismissed at 8 or even 9 PM, seven days a week. And it was WINTER. My first experience of winter. It wasn't a harsh winter, no snow in fact, but having lived all my life in a place of perpetual summer, it was a big change for me. For the first time, I donned a winter coat and gloves, and I was wearing up to 4 layers of clothes inside. My sister and I became experts in public transportation, having no one but ourselves to rely on in getting to where we needed to go.

The course itself was a boot camp for my brain. I've always had the attention span of a goldfish, and it was hard for me to sit through lectures for more than 3 hours. But not in this course. We had to do this for 12 hours, with just a 15 to 30 minute lunch break, and an occasional 10-minute break in between tutors. I'll write more about this in a separate post.

After the course, it was back to more familiar grounds for us: Sydney. We've been to Sydney many years before, and still remember most of the trip. We flew from Melbourne to Sydney, where our aunt was waiting for us. We had about 1 month before we sit for the exams, so we had to review and study and prepare ourselves the best we can with this time. Again, I became my worst enemy. It really takes me awhile to get started and to stay focused. It didn't help that I knew the exam was still a month away, I felt I have plenty of time to accomplish everything on time. Fortunately, several factors forced me to sit down and study for several hours a day: limited internet access, uninteresting daytime tv shows, my sister not talking to me because she herself was studying, and eventually, just the thought that failure is not an option were suffice to get me to hit the books. The exam was probably 2 weeks away when I really realized I must pass this. Too much time, too much money and too much energy has been invested in this. It was pass or fail, and failure was simply not an option.

So, for much of my remaining time in Australia, I was studying during the weekdays and during weekends, we morphed back in tourist mode. The weekend trips around Sydney were welcome breaks, and we were able to revisit the places that have made quite an impression on me way back: the opera house, Queen Victoria Building, Darling Harbour, the Three Sisters, Manly and Bondi Beaches, Westfield Parramatta and the small park near Tita's flat. And all that fish and chips!

November 20 came all too soon. For the first time ever, I took an exam in front of a computer. The exam took all afternoon, and it was draining. I couldn't remember much of the questions after finishing it, because everything was swimming in my head. I wasn't very confident about my performance because nothing looked familiar. I just prayed that I tackled the questions the way we were coached to do so. I relied very much on my instincts, and I hoped it didn't fail me. My sister and I were quiet on the train ride home, I was feeling shell-shocked and I couldn't tell from her demeanor what she was feeling.

We had about a week left before we had to go home. At this point, I wasn't even missing home yet (well, except for the little dog, who's picture I kept on my bedside because I was missing her everyday). It seemed that the months just flew by. It was hard packing my things, because I wanted to bring a lot of stuff home, but we were only allowed 25kg each. I had decided long before I started packing that I would be leaving some clothes and all my notes behind, because deep down, I had a feeling I'll be back soon.

It's funny how things work. The way things are going now, it does seem that there was basis for that feeling after all. I just might be heading down under again. I hope it's sooner rather than later, and I pray that this time, it's for good.