looking back at the crossroads

I'm finding myself looking back at the crossroads that I thought I had passed almost two years ago. It's not helping me any that I'm questioning my decision back then, even though I still feel that I had made the right decision.

I've been moonlighting since passing the boards in August 2006. Back then, I was all set to pursue further medical training abroad and I figured that I would moonlight while waiting for my opportunity to leave. I had decided that I would only go into residency here if I'm still here after exhausting all means of getting a license to practice abroad.

The thought of going to residency has entered (and re-entered, several times) my mind, but after four years of med school, one year of internship and one and a half year of moonlighting, I have yet to figure out which specialization to take. My only consolation is that I now know without a doubt which specialization NOT to take.

Now I'm getting tired of moonlighting. Going to duty is becoming a chore, and I no longer find it challenging. Feels like I'm stuck in a rut. However, I'm finding it hard to let go of its plusses: getting to practice medicine, earning more than I spend and having control of how I spend my days. Basically, I'm getting to live my life the way I want it. Except for the career growth.

Will I let go of this in order to move up the career ladder? Or should I stick to my original decision and still continue working on going abroad? These questions are fast becoming my constant companions, threatening to pull me back to the crossroads. Again and again they creep into my mind, causing me to stop and rethink my decision.

Yet again and again I end up deciding to stick to my choice, to turn my back to the crossroads and head up this path I've chosen. I may stop once in a while to look back to the crossroads, but I somehow manage to make myself start moving on forward again. In my heart, I still believe I made the right choice...I just did not realize it would take this long for it to be validated.

P.S.
If you are wondering why I am so bent up in trying to get out of the Philippines, please check out exodus, the post I made shortly after deciding to leave the crossroads.

blog rounds

So this is it. I'm in. Crack those knuckles, get the neurons firing and let the creative juices flow. I somehow managed to get myself into the Blog Rounds, the blog carnival of Filipino medical bloggers.

My friend MerryCherryMD was responsible for luring me in the middle of this blog carnival. She made it sound so easy and fun, so I decided to give it a shot.

I clicked on the blog rounds picture. Bone MD's The Orthopedic Logbook materialized on my screen, and I found myself reading the guidelines for the Philippines' first ever medicine blog carnival.

Sounds good. Challenging but not too toxic (it seems), and here's a chance for me to actually use my gray matter and play with words at the same time. I just can't pass this, I have to give this a try. Who knows, maybe this will open new doors for me.

And maybe it will for you as well. Just click on the picture and immerse yourself in the Blog Rounds blogosphere.

malaysian grand prix 2008

After the disastrous weekend in Melbourne, I was apprehensive coming into this weekend's grand prix. Hoping fervently that one week is enough to recover from one of the worst season starters, I prayed that it won't be a heartbreaking weekend.

No disappointments during qualifying, it was a Ferrari 1-2!!! Massa outqualified Kimi, but knowing Kimi is the more aggressive driver, their grid positions were fine with me. Hamilton and Heikki were 4 and 5, that was okay with me, too. Showed that Ferrari outpaced McLaren.

To make things sweeter, BMW's Nick Heidfeld put a complaint about the Macs being obstructive in his final fast lap. Thankfully, the stewards saw that indeed, the slowing down McLarens were on the racing line, interfering with the lap times of Heidfeld and Alonso. They decided to demote the Macs five places down. This put Heidfeld and Alonso two places up, and Lewis and Heikki smack into midfield.

The race start was great, with Raikkonen getting a better start than his teammate, but Massa defended his position and managed to stay up front. Things changed after the pit stops, when Raikkonen had good in and out laps, effectively putting him in front of Massa despite their pit times being almost identical. This sealed victory for Kimi.

The ending would've been sweeter if Massa finished second, but not surprisingly, he self-destructed (again!) and got himself stuck on the gravel pit. This is beginning to worry me, because for two straight races, Massa's made driving errors that took him out of the race. Ferrari needs Massa to generate some points in order to win the constructors' championship. So far, their only points are those scored by Raikkonen.

So, Bahrain is next...hopefully, this time, it'll be a 1-2 for Ferrari.

visual MEMEs

I have no idea what the title of this post means...for me, MEME = Sleep. Anyway, I read this on Hazel's Peanutbrittle Diaries and thought I'd give it a shot.



Answer the questions below, do a google image search with your answer, take a picture from the first page of results (don't copy the answers of the person who posted this before you).

1. the age you'll be on your next birthday

2. a place you'd like to travel

3. your favorite place

4. your favorite food

5. your favorite animal

6. your favorite color

7. first name of your significant other/crush

8. the town in which you live in

9. your screenname/nickname

10. your first job

11. a bad habit you have

12. your worst fear

australian grand prix 2008

I had been eagerly anticipating the start of this year's Formula 1 season. The 2007 season ended superbly for me, with Ferrari taking both the Constructors' and the Drivers' championship titles. Kimi Raikkonen eased the pain of Michael Schumacher's retirement, and the way he won his first championship title is one for the books. Kimi was in third place coming into the season's final grand prix, and, although it was mathematically possible, what Kimi needed to win last year was something short of a miracle. He did not only had to win the race, he also had to have a bit of luck in hoping his rivals finish several places behind him.

He got just that. A bit of "dumb" luck, to borrow Marc & Rovilson's term for stupidly good luck. So the season ended magically; it was like movie magic.

And then it takes one race to jolt me back to reality. This year's Australian Grand Prix, the first race of the season, was a bitter pill to swallow. It was probably Ferrari's worst ever season opener.

Ferrari came in with all the advantages: the best pit place, the reigning world champion in their paddock and the best pit crew. Good on paper, but apparently not on the racetrack. Magical it was not.

The qualifying yesterday was an omen. The number one car had fuel pressure problems, placing Kimi 15th on the grid. 15th among 22 cars. Felipe Massa's best was only good for 4th place, with the 2 drivers from archenemy McLaren ahead of him. Robert Kubica's BMW even managed to squeak past him. And BMW was supposed to be a middle-of-the-pack team.

The red lights went off...and the nightmare began. Felipe self-destructed early on, making a mistake amidst the mellee and ramming his car onto the barriers. He had to limp an entire lap before having his front wing changed. Kimi gave me some hope, jumping from 15 to 8. And his car seemed to be fueled to the brim.

Kimi drove wonderfully, making it to 3rd place before self-destructing. He went one step too far and almost drove himself out of the race. He managed to avoid the barrier, but he dropped back to the end of the pack. The race went downhill from there, with Kimi's car sputtering to a stop with 5 laps to go.

The race was a cruel reminder that in this world, everything can change in a blink of an eye. From the top of the totem pole, Ferrari became bottom dwellers. Forever an optimist, I hope this would last for 1 week only. Now, I'm looking forward to the Malaysian Grand Prix and hope that Ferrari will redeem themselves. Dumb luck, stupid luck or even just a bit of good luck will be greatly appreciated. Magical this race certainly is not.

earth hour

Got this in my email, from my sister. Maybe we could give this one hour to the planet.

On 29 March 2008, the Philippines will join countries around the world as we literally "turn the lights out" for Earth Hour - an event that will fuel awareness on climate change and prove that when the people of the world work together, they can make a difference in the fight against global warming.

Earth Hour will take place throughout the Philippines from 8 to 9 in the evening on Saturday night, 29 March 2008. WWF invites you to participate by shutting off lights for 60 minutes, organizing your own "lights-out" event of by forwarding this mail to your friends, workmates and family.

Launched in Australia on the 31st of March 2007, Earth Hour moved 2.2 million people and 2100 businesses in Sydney to turn off their lights for one hour. This massive collective effort reduced the city's energy consumption by 10.2% for one hour. With Sydney icons like the Harbour Bridge and Opera House turning their lights off and unique events such as weddings by candlelight, the world took notice. Inspired by the collective effort of millions of Sydneysiders, many major global cities are joining Earth Hour in 2008, turning a symbolic event into a global movement.

Your participation will go a long way in spreading the message that we, as individual droplets working collectively can create an impetus far more powerful than the mightiest of rivers. For more information, log on to the WWF Earth Hour page at www.earthhour.org.

english

I got this email from my mother. It was so true and amusing that I just had to post it.

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxe.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men,
Why should't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England.
We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,
We find that quicksand can work slowly,
Boxing rings are square,
and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,
Grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be
committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
We ship by truck but send cargo by ship.
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
While a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house
can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out,
and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

And, in closing if Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop?