Sunday, May 15, 2011

blogging for my ego

The statements on the right column of this blog, under my dog's pic, say it all. Some people blog to gain fame, some to start a movement, some to express themselves. Some to interact with a specific audience, some to unite people under a common theme, and some to earn money. Not me.

I blog for my ego. Honestly, this is what got me started. I dream of having a life that is so interesting people would want to read about it. I dream of being posthumously famous, and my blog or journal will be sought after by my future fandom. I love to believe that what I think about things matter, and verbalizing these opinions in a post fuels this belief. I matter, my thoughts matter, my life matters...which is why I have to capture it in words, my own way of immortalizing it. This is what my ego tells me every time I stoke it with a new post in this blog.

Frankly, I don't care if I have a loyal following on this blog. I'm not doing this for any audience. I do it to scratch my writer's itch. I love the feeling of satisfaction of publishing a new post, one that I usually spend a lot of time editing until it meets my "standards." I love bumping into bloggable topics, often during mundane activities, and actually finding the time to make a post about it. I love sharing my two-cents on hot issues, and knowing that once published, anyone online can stumble upon my thoughts. I love to challenge myself to write about interesting stuff, and to write about them in such a way that my words can capture the reader.

I blog to chronicle my life. I love re-living moments in my past as I read old posts. I love trying to feel back the emotions I felt then as the words I had written bring me back to that time. Like going through an old journal, I often marvel at how eloquently (at least to my standards) I managed to write about something. It's like giving my ego a pat on the back.

I blog to immortalize me. I used to think that this blog will be in the internet longer than I'll be on this earth, but recent Blogger problems made me see that this blog is only as immortal as Blogger is. If this hosting site shuts down, it takes with it my chronicles. So, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that Blogger will never, ever shut down.

So, to end this post, I repeat words easily readable if only you'd look on the right column. I believe these words succinctly tell why I blog, and I wouldn't be able to tell it any other way:

For as long as I can remember, I've dreamt and attempted to have a journal that eloquently accounts both the significant events of my life as well as my random thoughts. But life happens faster than I can chronicle it, and I usually don't have the time nor the patience to sit for hours in front of the computer to compose an entry that I deem acceptable to be published online. I've learned by maintaining this blog that I'm a sporadic blogger, and that each entry I put is an attempt to slow down life and to chronicle it the best I could.


5 comments:

Sonia said...

I agree, Kat. Posterity is something else. what a draw! haha.

Bonedoc said...

I follow your blog. I like the way you "slow down" things with blogging...

Ego is safe. To immortality and beyond, well, lets see what Blogger will do!

MerryCherry, MD said...

Kat! To immortality and beyond! Hehe.

Ligaya said...

I was going to pick a favorite line from your post when I realized I can relate to practically everything you said! :D Luv this!

the philippine daily idiot said...

isn't immortality a persistent topic among us? hehehe.