Ecstasy. Excitement. Hopefulness. Relief. Panic. Five words I'm using to attempt to verbalize the feeling of freedom I felt after I passed the medical boards. For me, that was the point in my life when formal education ended and real life began.
It was surreal at first. The first thing I realized was that I actually have full control of how to spend my time. After 2 years wherein days have been renamed pre-duty, duty and from-duty, I now have Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday once again. I can go to bed as early or as late as I want to and don't have to count the number of hours I have left to sleep before getting up again. I am FREE.
Now, once you have fully grasped the idea that you are free, your conscience will start making its presence felt. For me, this took about a month. After all the parties, the oath-taking and the days spent doing nothing, I began to feel uneasy. I was itching to be productive. I know I have to be. After all, I now have a shiny new license to use.
I know I wasn't ready to embark into another training odyssey, there are still so many things I wanted to do. But I HAD to do something productive. If I go into residency, I'll be kissing at least 3 years of my life away...it'll be back to pre-duty, duty and from-duty days again. No holidays, no weekends, just those three freaking days. I am not ready to go back to that...yet.
So I decided to go into moonlighting. This way, I still can choose how many times a week to go to work. I am being productive and still having control of my time. Another plus is that for the first time in my life, I am earning my own money. Cash I can spend however I want to. By moonlighting, I get to hone my clinical skills and tick off things from my bucket list at the same time. Now I have the means to do the things I've put on hold while I was busy training.
I don't have any regrets for choosing to go into moonlighting. While it's true that by moonlighting you are putting your career on a stand-still, a good thing is you are somehow introduced to medicine in the real world. You will realize that you don't actually use every drug in Katzung or MIMS, and that you only encounter a handful of diseases. Rare diseases are really rare. You will learn how to do a complete physical examination in seconds. You will learn how to think outside the box.
All these and at the same time you get to create for yourself a life. Travel. Spend time with the loved ones you have neglected or missed during med school or training. Get back into shape. Catch up with movies and TV shows you've missed. Re-connect with yourself.
In time though, you will feel the need to advance your career. I've been feeling it lately, probably because my med school classmates who went straight into residency are now close to finishing their training. Perhaps somewhere in our training, a desire to do more and to learn more had been inculcated in us such that we'll always seek for new challenges and knowledge. After sometime, private practice will lose its novelty to you and you'll know that it's time to get back into training. I just hope that by the time this thirst makes itself known to you, you have done most, if not all, of the things you neglected doing while you were in med school. You may be too old, or simply be too late, to do this after quenching your thirst.
Enjoy your youth and freedom, new doctors! Do the things you've always wished you were doing while you were stuck in training. Don't be in such a hurry to advance your careers, residency and fellowship will always be there and they have no age limitations. In the real world anyway, patients will always prefer an older doctor.
This entry is a contribution to The Blog Rounds March 2009 Edition: Letter to a (Medical) Graduate
